im working at finding my neutrality

the extreme fluxuation between passion and focused direction haunts me

as a young girl the passionate romantic stirrings of my heart kept me in a whirlwind

it was extremely fun and freeing to be untethered

now in my mid life as i am sandwiched between my aging parents

and my teenaged daughters 

i am finding myself paralized by these opposites 

seeing my parents in their safe, predictable existence

their paths have been paved by their choices

my daughters are still in the crysalis with opportunities awaiting

sky is the limit 

possibilities are endless

in the center of these two contrasting situations lies me

remembering and holding on to the young woman who had a free heart

unburdened by responsibilites 

the dreamer of my own dreams

who now is caught between the desire to be free yet also craving groundedness

a sense of purpose and direction are calling me

to stop and listen to my soul 

asking myself "why am i here?"

"what is my soul's purpose?"

it's time to find the balance and not be afraid of responsibility

stop running 

sit

look within

accept myself

flawed and honest

no more pretense 

what i am realizing is that i can balance the fuel of my passion with the oxygen of my groundedness

allowing the greatest fire of purpose to burn 

giving birth to the highest version of myself

Authenticity for the new year

With this new year beginning for the very first time in my life I feel particularly concious and aware of my deep responsibility to honor my self.  I am in my 46th year of living on this planet and am finally feeling okay to allow myself to be, just that  "BE".  Sure I can drive myself crazy with the list of shoulds and have to's.  Being a wife and a mother of two teenaged daughters and a preteen son, you can imagine the needs and demands have taken their toll on me.  I have gone through the bumps and sharp edges of life's journey as we all do, if you are alive it is inevitable.  I have lost my way and gone to very dark corners of my inner self.  I have tried to numb myself and check out from feeling the pain that held me hostage.  I victimized myself , blaming others for the mess that I was in.  But all of these seemingly protective layers that I engaged still left me feeling empty and lost.  What I am realizing is that there is no escaping the work that is needed to be done in my lifetime.  Truly living an honorable life with self respect takes discipline, self love, acceptance of others and a deep committment to being as authentic as I can possibly be.  

Authenticity is what I am connecting with this year.  I am , allowing my honest , authentic self to just BE.  What does that mean exactly?  The definition of authentic means real or genuine : not copied or false. : true and accurate. : made to be or look just like an original. 

So with this in mind I am making a committment to my self and my soul to let go of the judgement and concern of being different .  We are all unique and true joy comes from practicing loving kindness of self.  When we are able to love ourselves , we are able to love others and appreciate their differences.  That is the only way to a peaceful world in my eyes.  Allowing others to be who they are as well as honoring who we are.  

finally words are coming to me

ive been stuck

between perfectionism and pain

loneliness is waning

my soul self is emerging

again

hello

where have you been?

ive missed you

sleeping you say?

i prayed to find you again

you told me to go alone

find a secret place

and there i will find you

crazy they call me

doubting myself i stumble

but through the fog and coldness

the sun burned through

piercing my heart 

with hope 

and a vision 

that my source 

is within me always

just waiting for me 

to peel away the layers

unload the baggage

exposing my vulnerable

awkwardly beautiful soul

to once again get back

on my horse and ride

freely into the unknown

with excitement 

and a wild imagination

that anything is possible

and the universe is waiting 

for me to share my gifts

of pain and disappointment

which were outshadowed by

joy and triumph

Goddess of Beauty

Goddess of beauty 

Ruby wearing a recently thrifted velvet turban

By Me

This photograph inspired me to write my thoughts on what this picture represents: 

Our goal in life is not only to love the world around us, but also to accept who you are and enjoy every minute of it. The key essences of being a goddess are to be comfortable in your own skin and being a leader that many look up too. Wisdom and beauty shine through your characteristics by helping others and yourself.

            Speaking on behalf of a young 16 year olds experiences and life journey, it tends to be a rollercoaster. The world around you is always flying by in a very fast pace with technology and the “new trends”. The cool thing to do might seem like you have to go along with these popular attractions, but being grounded with your individuality and having the choice to decide what is right for yourself is what makes you a stronger goddess. Being a girl who always loved catching butterflies with my hands and washing the cats in the kitchen sink, is now thrown to the wolves in a society that always wants the best and only the best. Our world today is corrupted by false images and pure pressure in every aspect of teenage living. The best way to live your life is not by doing what others do just to get by, but to make a permanent golden pathway that guides others who come after you.

Tid bit of wisdom!  

Hello, im Sophie a 15 year old photographer from Santa Barbara

All Photos shown below were taken by me, unless stated other wise!

Music.Inspiration.Photography

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Introspection

Daylight savings has arrived

the air is colder and crisper

winds are howling

rain showers through sunshine

followed by rainbows

white caps top off the sparkling diamonds in the sea

time to go inside

make your nest warm and cozy

play your music

light the fire

dim the lights

prepare a delicious meal 

soak up the comfort and love that surrounds you

reminisce about your past while looking at old photos

or reading old diaries 

look at where you've come from

forgive yourself if you feel embarrassed

see how far you have grown

now see where you want to go

it's that simple

there should be no struggle

when you are on the right path

things flow easily

winter brings much needed introspection

slumber

rejuvenation

hibernation

remember to keep the lights illuminated

stoke your inner fire

hold within your heart

the vision of summer love

long days of endless light

the cocoon of winter is necessary

to regain the strength and grounding 

needed to once again 

see the butterfly hatch and the bulbs to flower

this is the life cycle 

Home Sanctuary

Do you have a special place to go to when you need to look within and be alone with yourself?

We all need a safe, quiet space where we are surrounded by uplifting images or objects.

It is important for your own well being to create this "cave" or "nest" where you can escape from the outside world and refuel.  At my home I have made this sacred space in my office.  In my "cave" I have created an altar where I keep objects, photographs, crystals, candles, and tiny treasures from my walks on the beach or trails.  This table is a shrine that reminds me to go within and ground myself to connect with my inner being.       

                                                                                                                                                                          In addition to my altar, I have two dream boards that flank my desk where I do my work.

These boards are where I can fantasize and dream without holding back.  This is where I go for it and run free with the wind.  There are no limitations imprisoning me, only hope and love.  If we don't have dreams or aspirations, life would be rather mundane.  On my board to the left of my desk there are images from the outside world, powerful mentors that I look up to such as Mother Mary, The Dalai Lama, Barack Obama, Guru Singh, and an unknown American Indian Chief.  There are also words that resonate with me that are important for me to live my life by; such as "compassion", "balance", "love", "serenity","peace", "creativity", "friendship", "beauty", and "grace".  Next to these words are images that support their meaning.  

To the right of my desk is a board which holds various photos of my family throughout the years which have touched my heart so deeply that I can't just put them into an album on a shelf to forget about. These photos take me back in time through my life to remind me how short our time really is here on this earth and we need to "Carpe Diem", seize every morsel of tenderness that we are blessed with.

Your boards will probably change a bit from time to time to keep current with where you are at in your growth process.  Things that seemed so important to you before may not hold so much power on you anymore. That's okay, let it go, and allow the new to filter in.  This is your private jet that can fly where ever it needs to go, you are the pilot.